Entries tagged as ‘Minnesota Timberwolves’
'Melo swore to me that Denver will definitely go over .500 this season...'
The division that makes up roughly half of the continental United States looks to have some exciting stories this season, with the inaugural season for Oklahoma, the Oden Explosion in Oregon and the traveling comedy that will be Kevin Love’s away games. There’s also last year’s playoff contenders in Denver and Utah, both looking to repeat .500+ records in the tough Western Conference.
Denver Nuggets: After unceremoniously dropping Camby to the Clippers for $4.72 in change and two cans of Tecate, GM Mark Warkentien went ahead and picked up Chris Andersen to fill the huge, inescapable void that Camby’s absence will leave in the Nuggets’ defence. Obviously, Mark Warkentien doesn’t play fantasy basketball, or he’d realise the mistake he made. In fact, it’s a move that suggests Mark Warkentien doesn’t even watch basketball.
This error will be compounded during the All-Star break when the reformed Andersen injures both himself and ‘Melo trying to stop the Chubby Gangster from having a second bump at the wheel of his Escalade, while The Answer sits in the back saying ‘that’s nothing, I did shit ten times worse than that. Do it.’ Cue the police arriving and Denver having to start Linas Kleiza and Sonny Weems for the rest of the season.
Portland Trailblazers: Is anyone not excited about the Blazers this season? Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jerryd Bayless and Greg Oden. The Blazers’ front office have got to be hoping this year or next year is a ring year, because that is a whole lot of massive contracts they’re going to have to offer soon. The highlight of the season will be when Oden throws down a dunk so monstrous he lowers the entire Pacific shelf 9-feet, and half of Los Angeles disappears into the ocean.
Oklahoma City Thunder: The first game is a sell-out as every season ticket-holder shows up. The Ford Center retains this adrenaline-fuelled atmosphere, with Oklahoma creating a few early upset wins. Then Kevin Durant pulls a hammy, and everyone realises they don’t know the names of the rest of the team, save 23 frat boys who turn up to yell ‘hey, Castro Supreme!’ at Chris Wilcox and high-five each other.
David Stern receives a note from the entire population of Seattle saying ‘Dear David, do you see what you’ve done? You shit.’
Utah Jazz: Let’s look at this objectively. They’ve got two gold medallists in Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, supported by Mehmet Okur and former All-Star Andrei Kirilenko, with some exciting upside in Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap. Even Kyle Korver is good for something. And they’re being coached by Jerry Sloan. If they don’t push deep into the playoffs, the entire franchise should be dropped to the D-League.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Now that everyone has worked out that Al Jefferson is All-Star material, and teams have begun collapsing on him, there will be pressure on the rookie Kevin Love to pick up some of the slack. Unfortunately, he won’t, and Minnesota fans will divide their time between bitterly tracking O.J. Mayo’s exciting rookie season, and betting on the spread Vegas is offering on Kevin Love’s foul-to-points ratio.
Posted by: Alex
Read the Atlantic Division preview here.
Categories: On The Court · Sport Count Guide
Tagged: Al Jefferson, Allen Iverson, Andrei Kirilenko, Brandon Roy, Carlos Boozer, Carmelo Anthony, Castro Supreme, Chris Anderson, Chris Wilcox, David Stern, Denver Nuggets, Deron Williams, Greg Oden, Jerry Sloan, Jerryd Bayless, Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, Kyle Korver, LaMarcus Aldridge, Linus Kleiza, Mark Warkentien, Mehmet Okur, Minnesota Timberwolves, O.J. Mayo, Oklahoma City Thunder, Paul Millsap, Portland Trailblazers, Ronnie Brewer, Sonny Weems, Utah Jazz
After fouling out ludicrously early, Minnesota #42 Kevin Love listens to Harry Potter on audio book while his teammates finish playing Denver.
Some might suggest it is too early to arbitrate on whether this year’s crop are busts, but we are not those.
This isn’t even so much a matter of opinion. It is observation. Back in June of this year, The Sport Count was vociferous in its warnings to all NBA General Managers: do not draft Kevin Love, we said. Do not draft white ever, especially with a high pick, because this happens. We were unequivocal about this, and it seems we have been vindicated. It’s not even like we’re happy about it. We’re more just mystified: if three Australians can see these simple truths, why can’t GMs on million-dollar salaries?
Before we get even more upset, let’s have a look at recent developments in 2008 Rookie news.
Minnesota’s boxscore against Denver (19 October) from NBA.com:
It’s a little difficult to make out, but yes, that does say Kevin Love fouled out after 11 minutes. After contributing 5 points, and an earth shattering single rebound. Bad numbers can be the result of a bad game, but in a game where not a single one of your teammates picked up more than 3 fouls, in a full quota of minutes, fouling out is not having a bad game – it’s being a draft bust.
However, full credit to Kevin for actually playing in the NBA Preseason. The same can’t be said for our favourite Eurobust, Danilo Gallinari. After missing all of the Knicks’ preseason games, the New York Post is now reporting that Gallinari will likely be starting in the D-League. This is the 6th overall pick, starting in the D-League. Isiah Thomas’ strong recommendations about an unproven Italian didn’t work out — who’d have guessed?
Posted by: Alex, Anton & James
Categories: Draft Talk · NBA Mysteries · Off The Court · On The Court · Whitey Watch
Tagged: Danilo Gallinari, Isiah Thomas, Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves, New York Knicks
Gay: a lot of upside.
Things have been fairly quiet on The Sport Count website this week.
But our offices have been extremely busy, and horrifically noisy, as each member of the team dedicates every waking hour to reading draft kits (’draft Ramon Sessions!’) and Brandon Funston articles (’Dwight Howard is a very bad free throw shooter!’). Because this Friday night, it’s The Count Cup draft.
We’ve got a top-notch wine bar booked out; eight teams vying for the league’s best players — not to mention the world’s most delicious viogniers. Count editor James has been working on a draft board David Stern would love to stand in front of. And so, with statistics and pre-draft rankings on our mind, we offer some tips for the big night.
Always Go For Upside:
Because even if the upside never turns up, at least you got to spend the season emailing your league with the claim ‘this is the week Tyrus Thomas crosses over. He’s going to explode. Look at the game log! He had two blocks against Minnesota last week!’
You’ll also entertain your league when you sincerely promise ‘there’s no way I’d swap Paul Pierce for Brandan Wright. This is the week Brandan Wright explodes!’
Don’t Draft White:
Count the number of fantasy relevant white players in the NBA. Done? Okay, now count them just on your right hand. Finished? Now use your six remaining fingers to do something constructive.
If two players — one black, one white — have identical numbers, avoid white. Their defensive numbers only drop off. They never get better. John Hollinger could prove this.
Reason to draft Chris Kaman: He says 'If you will not draft me, I will eat your body flesh.'
Don’t Hermann:
After averaging 20 points and 6 boards for a busted Bobcats squad in April ‘07, many fantasy pundits bet on a big year for Walter in ‘07-’08, drafting him around the tenth round, all touting the Argentinian as a real sleeper pick. Walter rewarded that faith by averaging 3 points and 1.6 boards last season.
There’s an analogy I like in Daniel Plainview’s latest set of draft tips: ‘a little bit of drainage in the night does not mean you will have an entire oil field in the morning. So, I’m avoiding Ramon Sessions this year.’
'I will not be drafting Andrea Bargnani either, not even in the last pick of the last round.'
If You’re In A 16 Team League, And You’re About To Make Your Fifteenth Pick, You Should Still Not Select The Man On The Left, Nor The Man On The Right:
Unless Turnovers are a positive category in your league.
Posted By: Anton, James & Alex
Categories: Fantasy Basketball · Sport Count Guide
Tagged: Minnesota Timberwolves, David Stern, John Hollinger, Paul Pierce, Rudy Gay, Tyrus Thomas, Chris Kaman, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry, Ramon Sessions, Daniel Plainview, Brandan Wright, Brandon Funston, Walter Hermann
Read it and weep, Collins.
Terrible news from Sports Illustrated:
Minnesota Timberwolves center Jason Collins had surgery to repair a ruptured triceps tendon in his right elbow.
The team said Thursday that Collins was injured in a freak golf accident when his cart skidded on some wet ground and tipped over.
The time for action is now, David Stern. For too long, NBA players have been allowed to roam free on golf courses, attempting dangerous chip shots, their careers threatened by wretched sand traps.
Teams justifiably ban their highly-paid ballers from motorcycling, and sky-diving is totally out of the question. Rock-climbing is presumably forbidden, and archery is off the cards. So why are players, worth so much to their respective teams, allowed to swing large metal rods around, flinging deadly white balls at each other, the risk of lightning strike ever present?
Are we certain Monta Ellis didn’t injure himself on the greens? Could it be that a casual game with Tiger Woods is responsible for Ellis’ shock malady?
The time for action is now. The Collins tragedy must never happen again. David Stern must erect signs around the golf courses of America: ‘No Ballers Allowed On The Green.’
Posted By: Anton
Categories: Off The Court
Tagged: Minnesota Timberwolves, David Stern, Monta Ellis, Jason Collins, Tiger Woods
Following the news that league superstars Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Carlos Boozer won’t rule out signing with a European team after their NBA contracts are up, another big name has said he too is open to any big money foreign offers.
Doleac: 'I'd consider $50m'.
On the phone from his San Antonio home, Michael Doleac said ‘you’d be crazy not to consider these offers. It’s a whole new ballgame now. If a Russian club comes to me with 50-million dollars tax free, I’d have to at least consider it. Who wouldn’t?’
Like other superstars toying with a move across the Atlantic, the Minnesota Timberwolves centre worries the transition might be difficult. ‘It’d be tough, yeah. I mean, over here I’m a third-string centre, with career averages of less than five points, and nearly four rebounds. But over there, I’d be a God. It would be difficult becoming the focus of the team… or the whole country. That’s a lot of pressure. That’s a lot of eyes on you.’
‘I respect Josh [Childress] for actually doing it,’ Doleac continued, eating ’super spicy hot’ salami sticks and playing Call Of Duty 4 on his newly-purchased PlayStation 3. ‘The money is nice, but actually making the move? That takes guts. I’m definitely open to offers.’
Would the language barrier trouble him? Doleac laughs. ‘Let’s just say I’ve bought myself a dictionary this week,’ he said. ‘A Russian dictionary.’
Posted By: Anton
Categories: Off The Court · Signings & Firings
Tagged: Carlos Boozer, Josh Childress, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Michael Doleac, Minnesota Timberwolves
