THE SPORT COUNT

Entries tagged as ‘LeBron James’

The People of Ohio Are Delicate Little Babies

July 10, 2009 · 3 Comments

No doubt you’ve heard about what is sure to be (irritatingly) dubbed Dunkgate.

If you haven’t, a quick catch-up: LeBron James was dunked on by a 19-year old college baller during a scrimmage. Some dude filmed it. LeBron had Nike representatives seize the tape, presumably to destroy it.

Understandably, most basketball fans want to see this now-famous jam. Not necessarily for the content; if you’re protecting the rim, occasionally you’re going to get dunked on, and such an occurrence is hardly earth-shattering. No, the punters want to see it because they’re not allowed to.

Except for the fans in Ohio. They’re a little too sissy to cop footage of their sensitive superstar having a ball stuffed in his face:

From ESPN:

Dear Ohio: you're a pack of babies.

Dear Ohio: you're a pack of babies.

Let us hope the tape never sees the light of day, lest the delicate sensibilities of Ohio natives everywhere be offended.

Posted By: Anton

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Categories: Off The Court
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The Worst Contract In The World

July 9, 2009 · 3 Comments

El Floppino earns his cash.

El Floppino earns his cash.

ESPN.com is reporting that Anderson Varejao, the most irritating-to-watch player in the game, is about to be rewarded by Cleveland with a base contract of $42.5M over 6 years, with incentives likely to push it to $50M.

This is the worst signing ever done by a team. Bar none. This makes Rashard Lewis’ contract look like the bargain buy of the century. Hell, it makes Isiah look good. Here’s the facts:

  1. You have a remarkably unlikable guy on your books for six years, even if LeBron leaves, because no one else will want him.
  2. You’re paying a guy $50M when he has barely managed to average 8 and 7 in a season.
  3. His idea of playing defence is to fall as theatrically as possible.
  4. You’re paying Anderson fucking Varejao $50M.

I’m going outside to kick a cat.

Posted by: Alex

See Further: Our dot-comrades over at NBAMate have a great wrap-up of Varejao’s repugnant idiocy, which is also where I found the above image.

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Categories: Uncategorized
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General Management for Dummies

July 9, 2009 · 2 Comments

Being an NBA GM is tough. Unlike the rest of us, who have studied at university or (at least) high school to achieve the requisite qualifications for our job, NBA GMs inevitably come from backgrounds as former sharp-shooters, low-post threats or dotcom billionaires. It must be tough to be so ill-qualified to run a basketball team/business — which is why the Count has provided the Cliff notes for the 2009-2010 off-season:

Sometimes flowcharts speak louder than words

Sometimes flowcharts speak louder than words (click to enlarge).

Posted By: Alex

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Categories: Sport Count Guide
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Count Q+A: Hedo, Ron & Trevor

July 4, 2009 · 1 Comment

So, the silly season is upon us, and the Count is ready to weigh in with opinions left, right, and centre on Ron, Trev, Charlie and Ben — who sound like a 1960s mod rock band but are, in fact, all basketball players.

What will he do? Get it?

What will he do? Get it?

Where should Turkoglu end up? Where is he likely to?

Anton: Let’s do the second part first. I see him signing with the Raptors, a poorly-run franchise desperate to surround Chris Bosh with known entities. Toronto want name players, guys with ‘championship experience,’ and they’ll pay for it. Being the league’s only non-US franchise, the Raptors seem to pride themselves on their international flavour, so securing the Turkish Jordan will blow minds north of the border.

Never mind that he’s yet another long three-point man who doesn’t rebound, sliding in next to Bargnani, who is carving out a semi-successful career without ever setting foot in the paint on either end. Never mind that he’ll be overpaid.

You know where he should end up? Orlando. He’s perfect for them. He can run the offense when Jameer Nelson isn’t on the court, and he can nail open bombs off kick-outs and screens. His sporadic defensive failures and lack of rebounding are offset by the brute interior strength of The Manchild.

Yes, he should stay in Orlando. But they can’t offer him enough money, so he won’t.

James: Turkoglu will get overpaid. Let’s be frank: he’s playing in a set up that suits him perfectly, and he’s the third-best player on his team. Without a solid, shooting 4 like Rashard Lewis, he has a lot less space to operate, and he flourished in a situation where he’s the go-to guy in the clutch.

Ideally, you’d like to see him as the final piece on a contender… but he’ll take a pay day. If Portland offer him the bucks now — and it would be a horrible move if they do — that’s where he’ll be; they’re an exciting team and probably good enough for the WCFs next year, taking a game or two off the Lakers.

I’d actually love Turkoglu at the Mavericks. Think about it. He’s a much better fit for that team than Howard is at the 3, as he can camp on the perimeter and get kick-outs from Dirk. Likewise, he’s a guy who revels on good looks (otherwise shooting woefully from the field) so he’d be fit if Kidd is feeding him the rock.

Having said that, I see him taking a pay day from the Blazers or Raptors.

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Categories: Count Q&A · Signings & Firings
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The Semi-Socialist Pay Scale Of The NBA or: Why Lorenzen Wright Is Paid So Much For Doing So Little

June 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Because of the superstar (right) the rarely-used veteran (left) gets stacks of cash (middle)

Because of the superstar (right) the rarely-used veteran (left) gets stacks of cash (middle)

Last season, Cleveland Cavaliers back-up centre Lorenzen Wright was paid $1,262,275. It’s fair to say he didn’t earn that money.

He played in just seventeen games, at a pay rate of $74,251.47 per appearance. Only once did he play more than 25 minutes: in the last game of the season, a loss to Philadelphia in which coach Mike Brown gave the Cleveland starters a  pre-playoff rest.

Lorenzen Wright is a classic bench warmer, a semi-serviceable veteran with a pulse, and the ability to play a few minutes if  a) the Cavaliers are up by 30 with three minutes to go or b) the four big men ahead of him die just before the game.

So, when Wright contributes so little — beyond a beating heart — why is he paid so well? Why is such an easily replaceable player compensated so handsomely?

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Categories: Desperate Pleas · Sport Count Feature · Uncategorized
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