THE SPORT COUNT

Entries tagged as ‘Kobe Bryant’

The Genetic Gift: Why Being A Tall, Relatively Unskilled NBA Player Is Just Like Having A Big Penis

July 7, 2009 · 1 Comment

dnaball

Stay with me here.

Professional basketball players work hard. Not quite ‘digging in a mine shaft’ hard, but they’re not given their stacks of cash for nothing. Very late nights, constant scrutiny and insult, tough practice sessions, tedious media engagements. Not to mention the thousands of shots put up in practice before making the league, the cumulative months spent on playground courts honing the game.

But for most ballers, there is an overwhelming element of luck involved in their success. For some, it’s almost all luck.

These are the tall and unskilled of the NBA; the players blessed by genetics, their arms long, their legs able to move quickly. They are paid for their length and height, not their jumpshot or court vision. They are paid for their genetic make-up.

They are congratulated financially and socially for having the right parents.

In other words, they have a big cock.

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Categories: Sport Count Feature
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The Semi-Socialist Pay Scale Of The NBA or: Why Lorenzen Wright Is Paid So Much For Doing So Little

June 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Because of the superstar (right) the rarely-used veteran (left) gets stacks of cash (middle)

Because of the superstar (right) the rarely-used veteran (left) gets stacks of cash (middle)

Last season, Cleveland Cavaliers back-up centre Lorenzen Wright was paid $1,262,275. It’s fair to say he didn’t earn that money.

He played in just seventeen games, at a pay rate of $74,251.47 per appearance. Only once did he play more than 25 minutes: in the last game of the season, a loss to Philadelphia in which coach Mike Brown gave the Cleveland starters a  pre-playoff rest.

Lorenzen Wright is a classic bench warmer, a semi-serviceable veteran with a pulse, and the ability to play a few minutes if  a) the Cavaliers are up by 30 with three minutes to go or b) the four big men ahead of him die just before the game.

So, when Wright contributes so little — beyond a beating heart — why is he paid so well? Why is such an easily replaceable player compensated so handsomely?

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Categories: Desperate Pleas · Sport Count Feature · Uncategorized
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Twitter Timeline: The Lakers Get Their Rings

June 15, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Unsurprisingly, last night was an extremely taxing one for the Twitter servers, with ex-players, pundits, and current ballers dropping e-gems throughout game five. Here are the highlights:

The Sport Count team kicked things off with a respectful, astute observation:

1tsc

Kelly Dwyer from Ball Don’t Lie shares the feelgood fan story of the Finals — a man who learned to respect those different from him:

2kd

John Hollinger from ESPN wasn’t loving the time-out entertainment:

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The Magic looked okay in the first quarter. But already the boys from Hardwood Paroxysm sensed a loss was on the cards:

4hp

Henry Abbott of True Hoop feels sorry for Sasha Vujacic. Hope the little fella isn’t too upset about his finals misfires:

5ha

It’s difficult to talk about a franchise tradition. Owners change. Coaches change. Players change. Ultimately, a franchise is held together by some colours, and geography — and even they change sometimes. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sees no such problem in generalising about the nature of a team:

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He’s right:

7jh

Ric Bucher of ESPN shows us when swearing is justified:

8rb

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Categories: Sport Count Guide
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Count Q+A: Key Questions From Game 2

June 8, 2009 · 1 Comment

After watching the first two games of the NBA finals, ‘underwhelming’ seems to be the consensus. I’m sure pundits, TV ratings people and fans across the globe are all feeling slightly similar; that the Magic, despite their best game 2 efforts, still aren’t playing their part in giving us the finals that we wanted.

We’ve got queries, we’ve got questions, and given that we have a Web 2.0 outlet to potificate, predict and ponder, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.

So many opinions, whether right or wrong.

So many opinions, whether right or wrong.

Question 1: Is there a way back for the Magic?

James: Yes! Let’s keep in mind that they were within a Courtney Lee layup (well, two, but who’s counting?) of squaring the series at 1-1 — which would’ve seriously made the Lakers sweat going into the belly of the beast.

Game 2 showed off Orlando’s threats, and if Howard can get smarter at reading the help defense and start kicking it out to the corners more efficiently, we could see a blow out going the other way in the next couple of games.

Orlando needs game 3 on their terms — not just a win, but an uptempo, exclamation point of a win that gives them the momentum to take game 4 on energy, setting up game 5 as the true decider.

Anton: Absolutely not. It’s likely they’ll take game 3, with a home crowd desperate for a finals win (Orlando are 0-6 all time in finals games), and the serious possibility of Rashard Lewis, Hedo Turkoglu and Dwight Howard firing on all cylinders at the same time. But with the way the Lakers are playing — inside-out, constant ball distribution — there’s no way for the Magic to claw back.

They’re playing for dignity now. Game 2 was make or break. And they broke.

Question 2: What to do with the PG situation for Orlando?

James: Play Jameer Nelson from the outset. Currently, either through lack of confidence or his talent level finally catching up with him, Alston is playing with neither skill nor passion. Even J.J. Redick is doing a better job of getting to the hoop against Derek Fisher, showing how much swagger Skip To My Lou has lost.

If Nelson is your guy, then he’s your guy. The team is better off playing an extra shooter or going super big with Hedo at the point, sacrificing nothing in mobility, than playing Alston, who can’t contribute.

No one doesn’t feel for the guy — he was a big part of getting them there, but the coaching staff need to see that it isn’t working, and that Nelson is the option for Orlando when they go back home.

Anton: Agreed 100%. You just can’t have Rafer Alston on the floor. For the series, he’s done just what the Lakers want him to, jacking up horrendous jumpers, acting as a black hole on offense, slacking off on defense. Courtney Lee has had issues — lazy defense on Kobe in game 1, the botched lay-up in game 2 — but at least he’s trying. Alston looks lost.

It has to be Jameer. If he’s healthy, you start him, and you play him big minutes. He’s too good to be benched in the name of ‘chemistry.’

Question 3: Does going big with Gortat and Howard help or hinder?

James: It hinders, because one of the Magic’s key advantages is the ability to spread the floor. Having two centres with no offensive moves playing in the 4-5 spots is creates a log jam in the paint — which helps LA help defend and rebound as soon as the big guys put it on the floor.

Ariza is staying home on whoever he’s playing, and Bryant is helping the big guys against Dwight, meaning that the Lakers are daring Courtney Lee, Pietrus or Redick to shoot Orlando to the win. This line up helps the Lakers narrow Orlando’s options on offense, which allows them to get more rebounds.

Additionally, with Gortat and Howard lumbering up the floor, the transition game which advantages Orlando so significantly is redundant, making it tough to get the easy buckets they’ll need when games are on the line.

Pau Gasol isn't bothered by Gortat.

Pau Gasol isn't bothered by The Polish Jordan.

Anton: Unfortunately for the Magic, you just can’t do it. During the regular season (when Van Gundy, for whatever reason, rarely played The Polish Jordan and The Manchild together), Orlando might have created terror on defense with the two monsters roaming the paint.

Against the Lakers? Not so much. Odom is too agile, too capable of handling the ball. Gasol has post moves good enough to get Gortat off his feet. The Lakers, with their big, versatile big men, aren’t worried by two roaming shot-blockings.

Whatever defensive advantage the Ebony & Ivory Towers frontcout might give — and it’s arguable it helps at all — is betrayed by how offensively weak Gortat is. He misses lay-ups. He’s apparently capable of nailing jumpers, but he hasn’t proven that in a game environment yet. Near the basket, on the offensive end, he’s a liability.

Question 4: Single strangest moment of the finals thus far?

Anton: Every moment that J.J. Redick spends on the court is strange.

Let’s get this straight: the guy is a famous shooter who can’t shoot (3-11 in the series). He’s a clutch guy who disappears in the clutch. Tell me again why he’s on an NBA roster, let alone getting substantial minutes in a do-or-die playoff game?

And forget what you’ve read about his defense improving. Relatively, it has. Because now he occasionally plays it. He’s still laterally slow. He’s consistently abused on pick and rolls. He lets his offensive inadequacies frustrate him, and that effects his effort on the defensive end.

He shouldn’t be in the game. Not with Courtney Lee capable of playing off-guard. Not with Pietrus available. Heck, not even when Anthony Johnson could spell some minutes at the two.

James: Apart from the NBA Cares segment where Sasha Vujacic playing Monopoly with disadvantaged kids? Probably a D.J. Mbenga appearance in Game 1. DJ is the human personification of salt in the wound.

That appearance was strange because I didn’t expect it.

It was also strange, because D.J.’s head is way too small for his body, and he may or may not be a 12-year old with mild progeria.

Question 5: How do we see these Finals impacting the NBA next season?

James: Game 2 just got a whole bunch of teams interested in Lamar Odom. He might be inconsistent as hell, but such a big time display will get teams like OKC — and maybe even Utah and New Jersey — looking at Odom to fill holes, with his ability to score and handle mismatches on D. I was in no doubt that Odom would re-sign at LA, but this makes me start to think he’ll be tempted by an inflated contract; which he’ll inevitably rarely justify.

Anton: I can also see Odom collecting a surprisingly fat contract on the basis of his play in these finals. Only LeBron James and Dwyane Wade as are versatile as Odom, who can run the offense, attack the basket, distribute, block shots, box out and rebound strongly, read passing lanes, and nail threes. He’d be perfect playing for D’Antoni in New York. He’d be a killer at the Warriors, where he’d be called on to play primary point guard much of the time. And he’d be wonderful to watch on the Nets, forming a formidable frontcourt with Brook Lopez, and finally rendering Yi Jianlian officially expendable.

I can also see the Magic attracting some big names in free agency now that they’re a legitimate force in the weaker East. With downward pressure on salaries, the opportunity to play for a winner will become more important. Rasheed Wallace could be an incredible back-up at the power forward and centre spots. Ben Gordon would be an incredible off-guard — everything J.J. Redick was supposed to be. And Charlie Villanueva would be perfect.

Winning attracts winners; I’m sure a pundit has said that before. And it’s true. The Magic can only benefit from their finals appearance, even if they don’t end their run with rings.

Posted by: James & Anton

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Categories: On The Court
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The Battle Of The Benchwarmers: Part One

June 3, 2009 · 1 Comment

As you know, the heavily mooted Kobe-LeBron match-up was not to be.

So, with the collective tears of the league marketing offices still drying, focus shifts to the stars of the Magic: the Manchild, The Turkish Jordan, and Rashard ‘Has Been In The League For Years And Still Doesn’t Have A Nickname’ Lewis. Then there’s the glitzy Lakers: Black Mamba, LO The Sweet Tooth, Gasolverine, and Bigger Baby Bynum.

You’ll hear enough about these heavy-hitters in the coming weeks. ESPN and Sports Illustrated have them covered.

We’re more interested in the yeoman class of the NBA: the forgotten, neglected, and rarely called upon. Let’s see how the battle of the benchwarmers will play out:

'The Zigged Zag' Vs. 'Mister Red Dick'

'The Zigged Zag' Vs. 'Mister Red Dick'

In 2005, they were the key players on their respective teams: Blue Devils, Zags, the two most sought after players in the country. Like Bird and Magic, a collegiate rivalry for the age — contrasting styles, equally effective results.

In 2005, you’d have had heady fans of college hoops certain that Redick’s silky jumper would one day trade buckets with Adam Morrison’s unexplainable scoring ability in the NBA finals. Rings on the line. Two titans going at it.

In 2009, they’re in the big dance, where they were meant to be. A storied rivalry entering a new era…

But this time, four years later, something is different. This pair of hoop legends are thrilling crowds across the country with atrocious shot selection and street clothes choices. One riding the pine, the other riding the plastic chairs behind the pine. One belligerently taking shots with a reckless abandon that would make Ron Artest recoil into the foetal position, and the other competing for an active roster spot with luminaries such as Sasha Vujacic, DJ Mbenga and Josh Powell.

With a sad realisation, hoops fans across the country come to accept the fact that either Adam Morrison or J.J. Redick will have a championship ring in a fortnight –- and there isn’t a thing they can do about it.

Advantage: anyone who dislikes the game of basketball.

'Pow Pow!' Powell Vs. 'Lil' J-Rich'

'Pow Pow!' Powell Vs. 'Lil' J-Rich'

Richardson’s anonymity is logical — he’s rarely on a team long enough for fans to get to know him. From 2006-2008, he played for the Hawks, Blazers, Grizzlies and Spurs. Not to mention his stints with the Fort Worth Flyers and Fort Wayne Mad Ants of the D-League.

Richardson is an unstoppable beast, a do-it-all dynamo who delights in decimatating defenses. At least, he was pretty good in the D-League, averaging 28.5 points, 6.6 boards, and 1.6 steals through 2007, before receiving a call-up from the Grizzlies. In the NBA, he’s yet to hit double figures.

Now, the poor man’s J-Rich finds himself in Orlando, getting his ring finger pre-emptively sized, hundreds of thousands of dollars richer, but substantially poorer in playing time. His contribution will involve hearty high fives, and standing awkwardly outside huddles during crunchtime moments.

If the Finals were decided on high fives, manhugs and bench-based enthusiasm, Josh Powell would be the MVP of the series.

For whatever reason, Powell is the first man Kobe Bryant moves towards whenever a time out is called. Powell is enthusiastic, quick with affectionate congratulation, and is always ready to hustle on the rare moments when Phil Jackson calls his number. In other words, he’s the perfect bench player.

Advantage: Powell.

Join us tomorrow, when the showdowns continue. Heavyweights Mbenga and Foyle throw down, and a surprise international undercard guaranteed to thrill fight fans.

Posted By: Anton & James

Categories: Battle Of The Benchwarmers · On The Court · Sport Count Guide · Whitey Watch
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