Ryan Anderson, about to miss another fucking shot.
Ryan Anderson is a terrible shooter.
Not technically, of course. If he lacked the magic ability to cock his elbow just right, and float the ball off his fingertips with finesse, he sure wouldn’t be in the National Basketball Assocation. After all, he’s a terrible defender; a pick-and-roll liability, a hustle-free zone, a man who’ll consistently put in work on only one end of the court.
Indeed, Ryan Anderson is capable of easing the ball into the bucket. It’s just that he has absolutely no idea how to go about it. On offense, Anderson seems to be emulating Ron Artest at his absolute worst, constantly jacking up preposterous long-range shots, ill-advised jumpers, and forced threes. On the rare nights he shoots 50% from the field — he’s managed it 13 times in his first 45 games — Anderson still looks abhorrent, consistently out of rhythm with the rest of the offense, contributing nothing but stagnation to the young Nets. Those rare nights of relative shooting success look the same as the more common abominations. The only difference is that occasionally Anderson hits a hot streak.
He’s a white Ricky Davis. A taller version of John Starks, without the talent.
How can you be 6′10″ and still shoot 38.9% for the season? Easy… even when you’re clearly having an off night, just keep jacking them up, even if you’re taking awful shots and hurting your team. That way, you’ll end up with the kind of line Ryan Anderson produces most nights: 1-5 (last night, against Orlando), 1-9 (against the 76ers last week), 3-14 against the Thunder (in early January). In one spectacularly sub-par series, over seven games from December 19th to the 29th, Anderson managed to shoot a grotesque 6-39.
This man has no conscience. There’s a reason he was selected 21st overall, despite scoring more points in college than his conference counterparts OJ Mayo, Kevin Love and Brook Lopez. Anderson represents everything wrong with basketball: a complete lack of engagement with your team, a desperation to fill your own stat sheet, and a stunning inability to contribute anything away from the ball.
And so, I request just one thing of the New Jersey rookie: Ryan Anderson, stop fucking shooting.
'Melo swore to me that Denver will definitely go over .500 this season...'
The division that makes up roughly half of the continental United States looks to have some exciting stories this season, with the inaugural season for Oklahoma, the Oden Explosion in Oregon and the traveling comedy that will be Kevin Love’s away games. There’s also last year’s playoff contenders in Denver and Utah, both looking to repeat .500+ records in the tough Western Conference.
Denver Nuggets: After unceremoniously dropping Camby to the Clippers for $4.72 in change and two cans of Tecate, GM Mark Warkentien went ahead and picked up Chris Andersen to fill the huge, inescapable void that Camby’s absence will leave in the Nuggets’ defence. Obviously, Mark Warkentien doesn’t play fantasy basketball, or he’d realise the mistake he made. In fact, it’s a move that suggests Mark Warkentien doesn’t even watch basketball.
This error will be compounded during the All-Star break when the reformed Andersen injures both himself and ‘Melo trying to stop the Chubby Gangster from having a second bump at the wheel of his Escalade, while The Answer sits in the back saying ‘that’s nothing, I did shit ten times worse than that. Do it.’ Cue the police arriving and Denver having to start Linas Kleiza and Sonny Weems for the rest of the season.
Portland Trailblazers: Is anyone not excited about the Blazers this season? Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jerryd Bayless and Greg Oden. The Blazers’ front office have got to be hoping this year or next year is a ring year, because that is a whole lot of massive contracts they’re going to have to offer soon. The highlight of the season will be when Oden throws down a dunk so monstrous he lowers the entire Pacific shelf 9-feet, and half of Los Angeles disappears into the ocean.
Oklahoma City Thunder: The first game is a sell-out as every season ticket-holder shows up. The Ford Center retains this adrenaline-fuelled atmosphere, with Oklahoma creating a few early upset wins. Then Kevin Durant pulls a hammy, and everyone realises they don’t know the names of the rest of the team, save 23 frat boys who turn up to yell ‘hey, Castro Supreme!’ at Chris Wilcox and high-five each other.
David Stern receives a note from the entire population of Seattle saying ‘Dear David, do you see what you’ve done? You shit.’
Utah Jazz: Let’s look at this objectively. They’ve got two gold medallists in Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, supported by Mehmet Okur and former All-Star Andrei Kirilenko, with some exciting upside in Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap. Even Kyle Korver is good for something. And they’re being coached by Jerry Sloan. If they don’t push deep into the playoffs, the entire franchise should be dropped to the D-League.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Now that everyone has worked out that Al Jefferson is All-Star material, and teams have begun collapsing on him, there will be pressure on the rookie Kevin Love to pick up some of the slack. Unfortunately, he won’t, and Minnesota fans will divide their time between bitterly tracking O.J. Mayo’s exciting rookie season, and betting on the spread Vegas is offering on Kevin Love’s foul-to-points ratio.
After fouling out ludicrously early, Minnesota #42 Kevin Love listens to Harry Potter on audio book while his teammates finish playing Denver.
Some might suggest it is too early to arbitrate on whether this year’s crop are busts, but we are not those.
This isn’t even so much a matter of opinion. It is observation. Back in June of this year, The Sport Count was vociferous in its warnings to all NBA General Managers: do not draft Kevin Love, we said. Do not draft white ever, especially with a high pick, because this happens. We were unequivocal about this, and it seems we have been vindicated. It’s not even like we’re happy about it. We’re more just mystified: if three Australians can see these simple truths, why can’t GMs on million-dollar salaries?
Before we get even more upset, let’s have a look at recent developments in 2008 Rookie news.
Minnesota’s boxscore against Denver (19 October) from NBA.com:
It’s a little difficult to make out, but yes, that does say Kevin Love fouled out after 11 minutes. After contributing 5 points, and an earth shattering single rebound. Bad numbers can be the result of a bad game, but in a game where not a single one of your teammates picked up more than 3 fouls, in a full quota of minutes, fouling out is not having a bad game – it’s being a draft bust.
However, full credit to Kevin for actually playing in the NBA Preseason. The same can’t be said for our favourite Eurobust, Danilo Gallinari. After missing all of the Knicks’ preseason games, the New York Post is now reporting that Gallinari will likely be starting in the D-League. This is the 6th overall pick, starting in the D-League. Isiah Thomas’ strong recommendations about an unproven Italian didn’t work out — who’d have guessed?
The Sport Count isn’t necessarily exclusively about the NBA. It’s more about a love of basketball in all its forms.* It just so happens that the NBA is the home of physical excellence, so it gets the most coverage.
Today though, we have something a little different: The Sport Count’s preferred candidate for King Of The World Barack O’Drama visiting troops in Kuwait over the weekend. Two things are affirmed by it:
B-Rock is the best guy ever
And he is a stone-cold assassin from outside 18-feet. Watch him knock a few down in between pepping the troops.
Posted by: Alex
*Except when it has anything to do with Euroball or Kevin Love.
Strap yourselves in, The Sport Count team are running down the top ten picks in this year’s done and dusted NBA Draft.
Thrills, surprises, and a couple of picks which we were sure couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t and — in the infinite wisdom of GM land — did happen.
#1 | Derrick Rose | Chicago Bulls | 3.5/5
Props to Chicago for not drafting for need and picking who they consider the best player.
Personally, I’m not all over this pick. The glut of young star point guards out there (CP3, D-Will) has put stars in a couple of GM eyes, similar to how ‘freshmen / high school big men with upside’ were a couple of years ago – Tyrus Thomas, I’m looking at you!
All in all, this could be franchise changing, and we can watch the trade moves begin. Having said that, I’m not so sure you don’t take the following big guy…
#2 | Michael Beasley | Miami Heat | 4.9/5
In case you can’t tell from the ranking, I’m pretty big on Beasley.
Pat Riley doesn’t get a 5 because he was so desperate to do something clever, like trade the pick, or wheel and deal to try to get his long-sold soul back from David Stern.
Remember last year when people were flat out drooling over Kevin Durant’s freshman Longhorns campaign? Beasley topped that turnout, but no one seemed to care. The kid turned in a college season for the ages, and he’ll fill it up and rebound for the next 12 years.
It'd have to be killing Iverson how few teams want him. 7 hours ago
@docktora Roy Hibbert is a surething for a massive breakout, right? He'll get starts, stacks of minutes, and he can score, board AND block. 19 hours ago
@Daniel_Artest You still hitting New Zealand soon? You should write up some diaries of your trip. Start a blog. Or write for us? 19 hours ago
If the Raps can pick up Jarrett, that's a great Calderon back-up. Doesn't make up for the terrible Hedo signing though. 19 hours ago
@docktora best case scenario is just sub-Ariza without the steals. He'll be a perpetual 8th man, classic energy guy. 1 day ago
