The Sport Count

Entries tagged as ‘Darko Milicic’

An Open Letter To David Stern

September 11, 2008 · No Comments

"I received this letter from The Sport Count at 10am this morning..."

"I received this letter from The Sport Count at 10:03 this morning..."

Dear David,

We write in regards to the rumours currently doing the rounds of teh internetz which suggest Memphis will be trading famous Eurobust and bench stain Darko Milicic to New York. We understand that in return, the Grizzlies will receive Zach Randolph and his bowel-moving contract.

As fans of the game of basketball, and particularly the NBA, we urge you in the strongest possible terms to veto this trade. Do not let it happen. For the good of the game, prohibit these teams from dealing dirty laundry in such a public manner.

It is not that we feel the trade is unfair in any way. Nor do we feel there is unsportsmanlike behaviour occurring. The reality is far more horrible. Allowing this trade to go through will represent the single worst example of the game being brought into disrepute. It is the NBA equivalent of a man swapping his sewerage to a neighbour for a bucket of the other man’s sick — neither party can be trusted or respected following the transaction.

Think of the fans, David. Think of the many people who, having followed each franchise with sincerity and passion, will have to find a new team.

Think about the New Yorkers, whose once-proud team has the opportunity to rebuild under Mike D’Antoni, but is now seemingly prepared to take on the biggest joke in the league, and his terrible contract, rather than a sporadically-functioning big man.

Think about the Memphis fans who have thrown their support behind perennial journeyers the Grizzlies. Finally their faith has been rewarded, with an exciting young team in Gay, Mayo, Arthur and Conley, now only to be saddled with a man who takes 14 seconds to transition the court, and has no conception of defence.

It is unjust, David. It is wrong. The fans’ stomachs cannot handle this. We have had to endure Seattle being stripped of their team, Adam Morrison’s face, almost 5 years of Isiah Thomas, and the Bargnani pick. Don’t make us go through this. If you have any compassion left behind that ruthless business acumen, heed our cry, and prevent this trade from happening.

Sincerely,

Yours,

The Sport Count.

Posted by: Alex

Categories: Desperate Pleas · NBA Mysteries · Off The Court · Trade Talk · Whitey Watch
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The Reading List: Darko’s Agent Brings The ‘Duh!’

September 7, 2008 · 2 Comments

Not a very good basketball player, yesterday.

A mediocre basketball player, yesterday.

From the NBA Insider:

Darko Milicic’s agent, Marc Cornstein, wouldn’t be the least bit opposed to a trade that would send his client to the Knicks and Zach Randolph to Memphis. ‘If a trade were to happen to New York, Darko would be very excited to play with Coach D’Antoni,’ said Cornstein.

Oh really, Cornstein? Darko would be okay with New York? Shit, if Darko is literally superglued to the end of the Memphis bench, he should still be gleeful — after all, he is getting paid huge cash for potential that doesn’t exist. (And if you’re wondering, Donnie Walsh, Darko could contribute in the Big Apple: come 2009, he’ll be a nice expiring contract).

Speaking of New York, Jamal Crawford is joining the blogging ranks. His first entry, entitled ’so you think I’m a loser…’, makes me think I’ll seriously enjoy his work. On criticism of his shot selection:

This is the biggest area that I HAVE to improve on and where I’m criticized the most…and for good reason. I HONESTLY feel like I can make every shot that I take. You have to understand that’s how I feel when I play. Some nights it happens but a lot of times it doesn’t.

Chuck Klosterman explains who’d win in a one-on-one session between Sarah Palin (a former baller) and Barack Obama (still capable of draining treys):

Obama has the size and the skills, but Palin would probably want it more. However, if it was a game of 2-on-2 and you had to pick a  teammate from your own region, Obama would win easily. An Obama-Mark Aguire tickets destroys Palin and Carlos Boozer.

Kelly Dwyer rains some justified burns on Vince Carter. Remember when Onyx asked ‘who slams harder: Onyx or Vince Carter?’ Well, maybe the answer really was Onyx. And if you can’t recall that Kotter-sampling classic, allow me to assist:

Our man John Rillie talks Corey ‘Homicide’ Williams, his Australian league teammate:

We all know that Corey “Homicide” Williams has some serious speed on the basketball court. In fact there are very few people, if any, who are able to stay in front of him when Williams is at full speed. The same can not be said for our Homicide when he is behind the wheel of a car… or a go-kart, anyway.

In related news, ‘Homicide’ was recently hailed as the fifth best streetballer in the world (Ron ‘The Don’ Artest was number one). Rillie interviews Williams about the ranking here.

Bill Simmons is back, and he’s taking a look at the new NFL season. In that spirit, here are some quick Sport Count predictions: the Giants won’t win the Super Bowl again — I know, bold call! — meaning I won’t win big money on a seemingly ridiculous bet again. Tom Brady is going to be a fantasy force, irritating the naysaying punters who let him slide into the second round. And Chris Cooley, American football’s greatest blogger, will skip ahead of Antonio Gates and total douchebag Jeremy Shockey as the best tight end in the game.

Posted By: Anton

Written or read a feature we’d like? Drop us a line.

Categories: The Reading List
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Just When NY Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse…

September 1, 2008 · 1 Comment

Darko Miličić. Donnie Walsh approves.

Yep, that’s right. Newsday is reporting that, in an effort to rid their roster of the bloated Z-Bo contract, New York are in discussions with GM Of The Year Chris Wallace about the availability of running joke, and occasional power forward, Darko Miličić.

We recently rated the Knicks Roster contract by contract, so we’re all over the logic. Yes, I understand the benefits of freeing up cap space for 2010. I understand that Z-Bo doesn’t fit the system and is probably the worst contract on the team outside of Starbury (aka Stephon Marbury, aka ‘The Cancer’s Cancer’), but that’s all beside the point.

My issue with this trade is dignity. It’s a very simple rule: if you’re already being criticised for your bad decisions and poor management, don’t trade for the single worst decision in NBA Draft History (although Michael Olowakandi might have something to say about that). I’d rather sign Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor. I’d honestly rather do business with whichever European team owns the rights to Qyntel Woods than subject my fans to the affront of having to watch Darko Miličić in my team’s colours.

Thank God the Knicks just traded the rights to Frederic Weis, because we’d be one call up away from an entirely European frontcourt –  a move which would surely prompt riots in MSG, and a short film on the racism of the Knicks from Spike Lee (filmed in a Cinema Verite style from his half-court, courtside seats, narrated by Tracy Morgan).

The only positive in this situation is that Darko and New Darko (Danilo Gallinari) may, in fact, find themselves on the court at the same time. That might just create a rift in the space/time continuum, which would allow Walt Frazier and Bernard King to arrive in a DeLorean, ensuring that the Knicks make the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 1995.

Posted by: James

Categories: NBA Mysteries · Trade Talk
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How to Make Your Franchise Less Likable

July 29, 2008 · No Comments

‘The People’s Bust’ Kwame Brown is reportedly locked in to sign an $8m, two-year deal with the Detroit Pistons, finally ending the months and months of speculation which have accompanied the former #1 pick’s every move (see here).

Kwame Brown - a Purple Pterodactyl

Kwame Brown - a Purple Pterodactyl

Kwame Brown and the Detroit Pistons agreed on a two-year deal - including a player option for the second season - worth $8 million, team president of basketball operations Joe Dumars told The Associated Press on Monday night.

Dumars is a guy who has gotten major kudos over the past few years for making great moves — all Darkos aside — but this has got to rank up their with his most potentially misguided gambles.

Sure, $4m a year isn’t a great deal of cash, but it’s more a case of principle; we just hate Kwame Brown, and so does pretty much everyone who has any sort of sense in the NBA stratosphere.

Kwame is boring. Kwame is fat. Kwame is the type of guy who you hope loses all of his money in an unfortunate pyramid scheme (and I’m not talking about Browns’ attempts to fit into the triangle offense over the past three years). Kwame is the type of person who would come to your birthday party without a gift, drink all of the booze, then spill stuff on your stereo.

Kwame is the black Chris Andersen. Kwame is the living Eddie Griffin. He has small hands. He can’t defend. He can’t score. He has no upside. He also looks a little bit like a pterodactyl.

Great work, Detroit. You just found a way for me to hate you more.

Posted by: James

Categories: Signings & Firings
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Grading The Contracts: Part 1

July 7, 2008 · No Comments

Great contract. Terrible facial hair.

Great contract. Terrible facial hair.

Just a few days into the free agency season and we’ve already seen a good amount of pen put to paper. No atrocities yet, though Kwame Brown is yet to be signed. (Hey, Philadelphia, how’d you like to drop five million a year on a small-handed, historically significant draft bust?).

Let’s grade the action so far:

Grizzlies sign Marc Gasol, the rights to whom they received in the Pau Gasol trade | Approx $3.5m | 3 years | You can’t miss here, with a wealth of positives — he’s related to Pau Gasol and that can’t hurt, the nice cheap rookie contract, Memphis PR constantly claim he’d ‘totally be a lottery pick this year’, he’s neither Kwame Brown nor Darko Milicic — and only one negative: yes, he’s totally got asshole facial hair (see above).

Grade: Doesn’t it seem like this Grizzlies team could be reasonable next year? Like, 25 wins reasonable, but really fun to watch. A-

Gilbert Arenas re-signs with the Wizards | $111m | 6 years | If you’re a Washington fan desperate for the team to add some bench depth or frontcourt strength, the close-to-max of Arenas will hurt. Not to say Arenas doesn’t deserve it — if you’re paying a guy to entertain, practice hard, keep the fans involved, and play some basketball, you may as well pay Gilbert Arenas — it’s just that you assume the Wizards could’ve kept him for less.

(Another negative: it should’ve been the Warriors. There isn’t a basketball fan alive immune to the charm of a hungry Gilbert Arenas playing with Stephen Jackson in a shoot-first-shoot-second offense).

Grade: Washington did the right thing in keeping Arenas. Unfortunately that means six more frustrating years of not quite making the conference finals, B-

Beno Udrih re-signs with the Kings | $32m | 5 years | Tough call for the Kings, with a young guy coming off one relatively strong, if not terribly efficient, season. You worry if he has plateaued. You worry that, just like when you figured Mikki Moore was worth more than five million a year, you might be paying for potential that may not be there.

Grade: Udrih will give them five serviceable years… but will serviceable be good enough for a team with (ridiculously misguided) championship aspirations? (Memo to Ron Artest: if you wanted a ring, you should’ve opted out). B-

Chris Duhon leaves the Bulls for the Knicks | Mid-Level Exception (Approx. $5.8m) | 2 years | A definite upgrade for the Knickerbockers (no, you don’t want Nate Robinson running the point), and a far sweeter situation for Duhon than the crowded Bulls backcourt.

The Knicks may have overpaid a touch — Duhon is significantly better in NBA 2K8 than in real life — but the fact we didn’t watch Isiah sign him to a $30m behemoth will make sleep a little easier for New York fans.

Grade: Assuming Duhon didn’t get his confidence shattered riding the Chicago pine, B+

Gerald Green signs with the Mavericks | minimum | one-year (probably non-guaranteed) | It never hurts to sign anyone to a non-guaranteed minimum contract*. Especially when there’s a slight chance their hyper athletic upside will pay off in a contract year scorcher in which the Governor General** averages fifteen points off the bench, most of them on breakaway dunks.

Grade: All of which is pretty unlikely to happen, but at least Dallas heads will have someone to cheer in the dunk contest, B-

Posted By: Anton

*Cuban, if you’re looking for a reality ratings winner, I’m totally willing to sign a non-guaranteed minimum wage contract and play for the Mavericks. I’ll do it.

**Gerald Green’s nickname, obviously.

Categories: Signings & Firings
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