Just 48 hours ago, basketball fans led an easy life. We knew who we liked and who we disliked. Things were black and white in the NBA. Now Detroit and Denver have gone and muddied the waters, by setting off the first blockbuster trade of the season.
With Allen Iverson set to pack his bags and head to Motown, and Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess heading back to Colorado, basketball fans will have to reconsider their opinions. Over here at The Sport Count, we thought we had Detroit figured. We were happy to consider them a faceless, coldly-efficient franchise. Rip Hamilton is an unlikable, pesky defender; Chauncey is a highly-competent but less-than-exciting point guard; Tayshaun Prince isn’t unlikable, but he’s not electrifying; and Sheed is a big angry moron. They were the team of second-tier NBA identities who were consistently able to bring teams down to their slow grind of play, and suck the fun out of just about any game.
No longer is this true. In Iverson, Detroit have picked up one of the most colorful NBA identities ever, and perhaps more annoyingly, a genuinely exciting, explosive talent who is a joy to watch. The Count is displeasd about this, because we had already planned which games to watch and had efficiently discounted any match-up involving San Antonio or Detroit. So now we’ll have to figure out whether or not it’s worth committing a few hours to watching one of the least likable teams in basketball for the sporadic moments of brilliance from AI. Worse, basketball fans now have to think about whether Detroit just picked up the offensive talent they needed to translate their conference finals form into genuine championship contention.
On the other side of the coin, Denver also becomes less likable. Nothing against Chauncey and McDyess, but between Iverson, Melo and Andersen, there was an enjoyably large number of criminal charges at Denver. The move is probably a good one for Denver, as they now have a genuine point guard and perimeter threat in Billups, which will give Melo room to move as the number one option on the offensive end. But for anyone not a Denver fan, we’ve lost the nightly buzz generated by the possibility that Melo and AI combine to choke an entire opposing team in a violent 12 second melee. And that, as an NBA fan, is a sad thing to lose.
'Melo swore to me that Denver will definitely go over .500 this season...'
The division that makes up roughly half of the continental United States looks to have some exciting stories this season, with the inaugural season for Oklahoma, the Oden Explosion in Oregon and the traveling comedy that will be Kevin Love’s away games. There’s also last year’s playoff contenders in Denver and Utah, both looking to repeat .500+ records in the tough Western Conference.
Denver Nuggets: After unceremoniously dropping Camby to the Clippers for $4.72 in change and two cans of Tecate, GM Mark Warkentien went ahead and picked up Chris Andersen to fill the huge, inescapable void that Camby’s absence will leave in the Nuggets’ defence. Obviously, Mark Warkentien doesn’t play fantasy basketball, or he’d realise the mistake he made. In fact, it’s a move that suggests Mark Warkentien doesn’t even watch basketball.
This error will be compounded during the All-Star break when the reformed Andersen injures both himself and ‘Melo trying to stop the Chubby Gangster from having a second bump at the wheel of his Escalade, while The Answer sits in the back saying ‘that’s nothing, I did shit ten times worse than that. Do it.’ Cue the police arriving and Denver having to start Linas Kleiza and Sonny Weems for the rest of the season.
Portland Trailblazers: Is anyone not excited about the Blazers this season? Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jerryd Bayless and Greg Oden. The Blazers’ front office have got to be hoping this year or next year is a ring year, because that is a whole lot of massive contracts they’re going to have to offer soon. The highlight of the season will be when Oden throws down a dunk so monstrous he lowers the entire Pacific shelf 9-feet, and half of Los Angeles disappears into the ocean.
Oklahoma City Thunder: The first game is a sell-out as every season ticket-holder shows up. The Ford Center retains this adrenaline-fuelled atmosphere, with Oklahoma creating a few early upset wins. Then Kevin Durant pulls a hammy, and everyone realises they don’t know the names of the rest of the team, save 23 frat boys who turn up to yell ‘hey, Castro Supreme!’ at Chris Wilcox and high-five each other.
David Stern receives a note from the entire population of Seattle saying ‘Dear David, do you see what you’ve done? You shit.’
Utah Jazz: Let’s look at this objectively. They’ve got two gold medallists in Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, supported by Mehmet Okur and former All-Star Andrei Kirilenko, with some exciting upside in Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap. Even Kyle Korver is good for something. And they’re being coached by Jerry Sloan. If they don’t push deep into the playoffs, the entire franchise should be dropped to the D-League.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Now that everyone has worked out that Al Jefferson is All-Star material, and teams have begun collapsing on him, there will be pressure on the rookie Kevin Love to pick up some of the slack. Unfortunately, he won’t, and Minnesota fans will divide their time between bitterly tracking O.J. Mayo’s exciting rookie season, and betting on the spread Vegas is offering on Kevin Love’s foul-to-points ratio.
Last month we stumbled upon Gilbert Arenas’ misguided attempts to self-heal his knees. Now we’ve got the skinny on what the recently suspended Monta “Moped” Ellis is doing to get back to his barnstorming best, in the latest edition of the Rehab Diaries.
8:00am: Hop on my jetski and head across to fisherman’s wharf. Man, that’s a buzz. Grab some chowder and pick up the Chronicle — Anthony Randolph looks like a winner! I’m gonna get him out fly fishing on Captain Jack’s boat.
9:30am: Now i’ve got the wind in my hair, the spray on my face, it’s time to lace up my carabiner –that’s right baby, we’re going abseiling. The doc swears that abseiling will help the ankle; high altitude is one of the ultimate remedies for vague, non-basketball related injuries.
11:00am: Jump in a taxi, yawn, and head across to the training facility. Put my head out the window and feel that Bay Area Air. Coach won’t let me play 3-on-3 at practice. I’ll hop, anything that’s a challenge, I’ll take it.
2:00pm: Nap time. I just need to set up my cyclotron, which keeps my in a constant state of centrifugal compression (and is HEAPZ OF FUN!) and then I’ll have visions of amazing sports, activities and challenges running through my head.
5:00pm: Head down to The Mission for dinner. I love hot, spicy Mexican food. The hotter the better. I end up accepting a bet from Marcus Williams and enter a chili eating contest. I ended up with an incredible record, had a really interesting style, entertaining to watch, and still came 9th to some Spanish guy called Carmelo. Disappointing.
7:30pm: Watch Big Wednesdaywhilst standing on my surfboard in the apartment. I CAN’T WAIT ’TIL I CAN GET BACK ON THE BOARD.
9:00pm: I’m so tired, time for sleep, looking forward to another day of action and challenges tomorrow.
Each season, hundreds of millions are spent by NBA general managers in their bids to secure the talent their franchise needs to claim a championship.
Some teams outlay more money than is generated by some African nations in a given year. But does expenditure guarantee quality? In our new series The Roster Rater, The Sport Count team give their frank and honest views on the value represented by each franchise’s salaries.
Do not give this man your chequebook.
New York Knicks | Total Salary: $97,763,245
Letting Isiah Thomas come up with contract offers could have been seen as a funny thing to do — just how far will his bad ideas stretch? Really? Will he really offer Jerome James $6m a season? But actually gifting him the authority to make those offers to players is a decision so financially irresponsible it almost makes the Mugabe regime look like gifted economists.
So it’s no wonder that the Knicks’ roster contains some of the most laughably unrewarding contracts in the league, and hence represents the perfect place to start our considerations.
Zach Randolph | $14,666,667 | 3 years
This isn’t outright disgusting. Babyhead does consistently provide 20-10 numbers. But then, Randolph’s salary is a little over $3.5m more than Antawn Jamison is getting this season. Antawn Jamison was an All-Star last season, Randolph wasn’t. There are reasons for that.
One reason? Despite height and girth far more substantial than most in the league, Randolph can’t average one blocked shot a game, making him a serious defensive liability on a team full of defensive liabilities. Another? This:
Eddy Curry | $9,723,983 | 3 years
$9.7m doesn’t seem too bad at the start of the season, when Curry’s frame and sporadically reasonable offensive numbers suggest he could be a competent big man. Then suddenly we’re 20 games into the season, his weight has ballooned, he hasn’t once turned up for defence and he’s forgotten that the low post even exists. That’s when the collective sigh occurs, as everyone remembers the disgusting contract that Isiah agreed to take on.
Stephon Marbury |Salary: $20,840,625 | 1 year
Flushing this amount of money down the toilet would be exponentially more entertaining for everyone than having to pay out Starbury’s contract. At least New York fans only have to suffer through a year more of this.
Worth mentioning is the possibility that Stephon turns up to training camp physically fit, mentally ready, sporting a serious jones to prove the doubters wrong, and boasting a surprising knowledge of the D’Antoni playbook. Actually, sorry, that wasn’t worth mentioning.
Quentin Richardson | $8,685,500 | 2 years
Well, he was inVan Wilder: Party Liaison. That, plus eight points and five rebounds, could be worth this much money. I guess.
Jamal Crawford | $8,640,000 | 3 years
Jamal’s contract is kind of tough to judge. His talents suggest he is one of the few genuinely capable players on the Knicks. He might even thrive as a floor managing off-guard on a team that needs one. But then you remember the Knicks are one of the worst teams in the league, and suddenly Jamal’s respectable numbers seem the product of the “someone has to score them” rule rather than ability.
We’ll give him the benefit of the doubt though, and assume a player who can top 30 points a game with some regularity is worth $8m+.
Malik Rose | $7,647,500 | 1 year
Rose is consistently, and somewhat euphemistically, referred to as a ‘character guy’:
Malik Rose is too good for these Knicks — too good of a teammate, too good of a person. In the immediate aftermath of player introductions, Rose routinely embraces each New York starter in a firm hug while whispering, “Go get ‘em” or “Make it your night.”
Indeed, by all accounts Rose spent the past four seasons acting as a calming influence on a team owned by a stubborn fatcat, and coached by one of the world’s least impressive basketball minds.
On a team stuffed with oversized egos and bloated contracts, that’s important. But when you average less than five points a game over three seasons, you betterhave a great personality.
Jerome James | $6,200,000 | 2 years
James played just two games last year, frustrating a Knicks front office desperate for him to retire. If James were to suffer a ‘career-ending injury,’ the Knicks would pick up a medical exemption, freeing up a little cap room, and forcing their insurance company to foot James’ bill.
If Jerome James sees Jimmy Dolan walking towards him with a pair of scissors in hand, and a cruel look in his eye, we know why.
Jared Jeffries | $6,049,400 | 3 years
Who wouldn’t love a reality show called Jared & Jerome, in which we follow two immensely rich, immensely useless big men as they roam the Big Apple?
Chris Duhon | $5,585,000 | 2 years
Duhon hardly oozes upside, and the Knicks undoubtedly bought too high in a bear free agent market. But overpaying by only $2.5m represents a substantial achievement in New York.
Danilo Gallinari| $2,394,600 | 2 years
Gallinari will spend the next two years either a) injured, wearing a Vuitton suit, talking film with Spike Lee or b) riding the pine, sporadically rising to challenge Andrea Bargnani as the NBA’s ‘most prominent Eurobust.’
This man: very excited about his contract year.
Nate Robinson | $2,020,179 | 1 year
Nate will seem like an absolute bargain when he thrives under the Knicks’ new run-and-gun style, putting up 18 points a game, and inexplicably developing a passing game.
He’ll seem like a rip-off when Donnie Walsh rewards his contract year effort with an Iguodala-esque contract.
David Lee | $1,788,033 | 1 year
Paying arguably your most valuable player — a genuine hustle guy, desperate for boards, active on both ends, a good attitude — far less than the wretched mistakes surrounding him?
Thank the lord (and Glenn ‘Big Dog’ Robinson) for rookie contracts.
Mardy Collins | $1,034,760 | 1 year
When Collins’ contract is up, I’m sure Carmelo Anthony would be interested in employing him as a human punching bag.
Wilson Chandler | $977,900 | 1 years
Remember how excited Spike Lee was on draft day ‘07? First he heard about the Babyhead Randolph pick-up (and loved it), then he expressed his love for the late round Chandler pick. ‘Isiah did the right thing,’ he said:
Well, Spike is probably less excited now.
Anthony Roberson | $797,581 | 1 year
Paying minimum wage for someone no one has ever heard of? Well, it can’t hurt. I guess.
Posted By: Alex & Anton
Shout-out: Want to see the hopes of New York fans graphed? Head over to Knicker Blogger.
Note: when expressing the years remaining on a contract, we’ve taken the team’s potentialliability into account, meaning we assume a player will accept their player option; for example, Eddy Curry has one guaranteed year remaining, plus two years worth of player options, so the Knicks are potentially liable for three years of Big Eddy. A team option is not considered a liability.
As the world continues to analyse Team USA’s victory in the 2008 Games, a quote from the NY Daily News caught our eye. The world’s least entertaining coach, Larry Brown, is at it again, and this time he offers some interesting excuses for his cock up of the USA coaching spot four long years ago.
“We had guys that committed (for 2004) and then all of a sudden 9/11 happened, and then there were injuries.”
Okay, first I’d say it’s pretty disrespectful to say put the words ‘9/11′ and ‘injuries’ in the same sentence, with the loose implication that they’re somehow related (for the record, Kevin Garnett is not a fireman). Additionally, it’s just a lazy and stupid excuse.
Here’s a reason that you won bronze, Larry: you insisted on starting Stephon Marbury, Allen Iverson, Richard Jefferson, Lamar Odom and Tim Duncan. Sure, few would argue with the credentials of Duncan and Iverson, particularly in 2004, but starting Duncan as an international C, and Iverson — whose game is based on penetration — in the international game is stupid, and you know it.
Ego is Larry Brown’s problem, and his hatred of young players is an even bigger one. There was not a team in the world, in 2004, that would not have started LeBron James, international or otherwise. Likewise Wade. Amaré Stoudemire was also on the team, as was ‘Melo, so Brown was hardly working with dregs.
So it turns out it was you, Larry — not Osama — who was in fact responsible for the bronze medal. Osama, however, was responsible for Tim Donaghy and the famous Robert Horry foul on Nash. Al Qaeda are enormous Spurs fans.
His shoulder has been better, and his left knee has been a hassle, but this week has been all about bad food. First, Tracy tried Thai for the first time, and felt queasy all day. And then later that week he ordered a burrito and it had all this gross cheese on it. McGrady is doubtful for his next match.
