The Answer: bringing personality to Motown.
Just 48 hours ago, basketball fans led an easy life. We knew who we liked and who we disliked. Things were black and white in the NBA. Now Detroit and Denver have gone and muddied the waters, by setting off the first blockbuster trade of the season.
With Allen Iverson set to pack his bags and head to Motown, and Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess heading back to Colorado, basketball fans will have to reconsider their opinions. Over here at The Sport Count, we thought we had Detroit figured. We were happy to consider them a faceless, coldly-efficient franchise. Rip Hamilton is an unlikable, pesky defender; Chauncey is a highly-competent but less-than-exciting point guard; Tayshaun Prince isn’t unlikable, but he’s not electrifying; and Sheed is a big angry moron. They were the team of second-tier NBA identities who were consistently able to bring teams down to their slow grind of play, and suck the fun out of just about any game.
No longer is this true. In Iverson, Detroit have picked up one of the most colorful NBA identities ever, and perhaps more annoyingly, a genuinely exciting, explosive talent who is a joy to watch. The Count is displeasd about this, because we had already planned which games to watch and had efficiently discounted any match-up involving San Antonio or Detroit. So now we’ll have to figure out whether or not it’s worth committing a few hours to watching one of the least likable teams in basketball for the sporadic moments of brilliance from AI. Worse, basketball fans now have to think about whether Detroit just picked up the offensive talent they needed to translate their conference finals form into genuine championship contention.
On the other side of the coin, Denver also becomes less likable. Nothing against Chauncey and McDyess, but between Iverson, Melo and Andersen, there was an enjoyably large number of criminal charges at Denver. The move is probably a good one for Denver, as they now have a genuine point guard and perimeter threat in Billups, which will give Melo room to move as the number one option on the offensive end. But for anyone not a Denver fan, we’ve lost the nightly buzz generated by the possibility that Melo and AI combine to choke an entire opposing team in a violent 12 second melee. And that, as an NBA fan, is a sad thing to lose.
Posted by: Alex
Categories: Off The Court · Signings & Firings · Trade Talk
Tagged: Allen Iverson, Antonio McDyess, Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Chris Andersen, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Rasheed Wallace, Rip Hamilton, San Antonio Spurs, Tayshaun Prince
Bruce Bowen is thinking "Can I get away with biting into his neck?"
Houston Rockets: Any real basketball fan hopes that this is the season T-Mac shakes the monkey and gets his team through the first round of the playoffs. T-Mac, Yao and Artest with a great supporting cast: it should be a return to Houston’s former glory of only about a decade ago.
It’s just so sad though. We know what’s going to happen, and it crushes our collective heart. T-Mac will break down. Yao will once again be defeated by the laws of physics and crush his fragile feet. Maybe they can hit say, 40 wins, bench these two for the rest of the regular season, and hope the role players can wrangle the next 10 or so wins that gets them 8th spot in the West. If Houston can stay healthy, the toughest division in the league just got even tougher.
Hang on, no. Because that would mean Ron Artest becomes the de facto team leader, which is questionable for two reasons: one, he’d have to not be suspended, which is only ever a 50% chance with the Don; and two, even if he isn’t suspended, do you let Ron Artest give advice to your younger players?
San Antonio Spurs: Who cares? The team is basically unchanged, so my prediction remains unchanged — they will challenge for the conference final, in yet another victory for stupidly boring basketball and bad sportsmanship.
Bar Spurs fans, is there anyone out there who doesn’t hope the entire team gets brought up on charges of bringing the game into disrepute and booted to the D-league? Is there a less enjoyable team to watch (okay, maybe Detroit)? Is there a less likable group of players, even given the fact they’ve ditched Horry? Is there anyone who doesn’t hope Bruce Bowen hard fouls Ron Artest and gets repaid with a straight shot to the chin like Ron-Ron landed on that Turtle-looking-fella at Auburn Hills?
Memphis Grizzlies: How could you dislike the Grizz this season? They’re basically a bunch of young kids who were playing pick-up and sent a letter to David Stern saying “mind if we have a crack at the NBA?”
O.J. Mayo proved in the preseason that he’s not daunted by playing in the NBA. Rudy Gay is one of the most electrifying, and dominant, young talents in the league. This alone should make the team likable. But then they’ve got an upside-laden young point guard in Conley, who will be amazing if he ever stops gaming, the brother of a proud racist and a centre with genuine hustle in Marc Gasol, and rookie power forward Darrell Arthur, who slipped too far in the draft due to concerns about a heart condition. Someone will one day make a movie about the 2008-2009 Grizzlies, who will only just scrape over twenty wins, but through the adversity will learn the true meaning of friendship.
Dallas Mavericks: Let’s not skirt around the issue. Dallas are too old now. They’re just too old. Their time has passed, and they’re irrelevant. You can imagine them all standing around when electricity was invented going “pfft — nothing will ever replace the good old steam engine.”
Jerry Stackhouse, Jason Kidd, Jason Terry, Eric Dampier, and Devean George are all ancient. Even if they’re still functional, they’ll get injured, or will spend too much time thinking about how they’re going to spend their millions when they retire in the next two years.
Moreover, how much confidence would you have in the coming years? Your GM has just traded a potential All-Star point guard (Devin Harris) away for a wife-beating grey hair (Jason Kidd), and then signed DeSagana Diop to almost $30M worth of contract. WTF. Did Cuban green-light that contract based on how many blocks Diop gets in fantasy leagues? It’s all just bad news at Dallas.
New Orleans Hornets: Unbelievably, everyone’s second favourite team managed to only get better over the off-season with the signing of ring-magnet James Posey. Adding his long range threat and clutch abilities to the talents of Chris Paul, David West, Tyson Chandler and Peja Stojakovic makes the Hornets the team to beat in the West. Yes, better than the Lakers.
Posted by: Alex
Categories: On The Court · Sport Count Guide
Tagged: Bruce Bowen, Chris Paul, Dallas Mavericks, Darrell Arthur, David Stern, David West, Desagana Diop, Devean George, Devin Harris, Entourage, Eric Dampier, Houston Rockets, James Posey, Jason Kidd, Jerry Stackhouse, Los Angeles Lakers, Marc Gasol, Mark Cuban, Memphis Grizzlies, Mike Conley, New Orleans Hornets, O.J. Mayo, Peja Stojakovic, Ron Artest, Rudy Gay, San Antonio Spurs, Tracy McGrady, Tyson Chandler, Yao Ming
Miami's South Beach: citizens are currently considering a motion by Dwyane Wade to rename the beach 'Dwyane Wade.'
Miami Heat: With Shaq out of town, crime in Miami skyrockets, and the beleagured police force call on the heightened talents of their city’s basketball team to help out: Wade is able to run down and catch any thief on foot and most any thief in cars; Beasley talks such epic trash that even hardened criminals break down in tears; and Chris Quinn spends his off-court time mixing potions that either restore the flagging energy of Miami’s police force or add +1 to Marion’s mana.
Erik Spoelstra has marginal success in his first season as coach, taking Miami to 25 wins, largely due to the answers he gets to his coaching inquiries on Yahoo! fantasy forums. His off-court time is spent blazing up with Mario Chalmers and referring to Pat Riley as “Old Father Time.”
Charlotte Bobcats: What will Larry Brown bring to the franchise this year? It’s well known that Charlotte are probably one mid-level player away from genuine play-off contention, when things are going right. If J-Rich, Gerald Wallace, Okafor and Felton can contribute for a full season, Charlotte could pull off some surprising upsets and finish the regular season with a shot at the 8th spot.
This, however, ignores the very real possibility that Felton cracks it over the decision to draft yet another point guard who will challenge for his spot, and demands a trade, thus disrupting team chemistry — which will see Adam Morrison out for three weeks with an injured tear duct.
There are at least two further major concerns: is Gerald Wallace’s brain still functioning, and will another knock render him disabled; and what will be the atrocious decision Michael Jordan makes this year?
Atlanta Hawks: The big question on everyone’s mind will be the effect Josh Childress’ absence will have on Atlanta’s depth and presence off the bench. While this will be an unknown quantity until the season starts, The Sport Count has the answer to the second biggest question on everyone’s mind: yes, there is now a huge excess of weed in Atlanta as a result of Childress’ move.
J-Smoove’s off-season signing to $58M should placate him enough to continue being ridiculous on the defensive end, and Joe Johnson should return to his marksmanship ways. With Al Horford only getting better, look for this team to still be in contention in the second round of the playoffs. Don’t look for Mike Bibby though, who will by that time have sprained both wrists, broken his neck, accidentally gnawed one of his legs off, and covered his head in so many bad tattoos he is no longer recognisable.
Washington Wizards: This is just frustrating. If Washington had their All-Star trio of Arenas, Jamison and Butler all healthy, they’d probably one of the most exciting teams to watch in the East. As it is, Antawn hurt himself before the season, Gilbert is unsurprisingly out due to his terrible rehab routine, Caron is almost as fragile as T-Mac, and starting Center Brendan Haywood is potentially out for the season. Talk about starting on the back foot. If the Wiz can overcome these injury concerns and post a reasonable record, it will be one of the great achievements of the season.
The one horrible inevitability is that injuries will mean Nick Young gets more court-time, which will result in him jacking up so many ill-advised shots that it’ll make Larry Hughes look like Ray Allen.
Orlando Magic: Is there any chance they won’t top the division? Dwight is continuing to put up the kind of numbers that destroy small towns, Turkoglu is coming off a career season that all the pundits think will be repeated, Rashard Lewis is playing well enough that you forget he gets paid as much as Kobe and 50% more than LeBron, and Jeff Van Gundy has been signed to ESPN to now Stan can stop worrying what his lovable-but-mentally-deficient brother is doing and actually concentrate on the game. All signs point to the Magic being a dominant force in the Eastern Conference.
The highlight will be when Dwight offers to correct the geological problem Oden caused on the west coast by starting his run-up in Philly and dunking the Chrysler building.
Posted by: Alex
Categories: Off The Court · Sport Count Guide
Tagged: Adam Morrison, Al Horford, Antawn Jamison, Atlanta Hawks, Brendan Haywood, Caron Butler, Charlotte Bobcats, Chris Quinn, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, Emeka Okafor, Erik Spoelstra, Gerald Wallace, Gilbert Arenas, Greg Oden, Hedo Turkoglu, Jason Richardson, Jeff Van Gundy, Josh Childress, Josh Smith, Kobe Bryant, Larry Brown, Larry Hughes, LeBron James, Mario Chalmers, Miami Heat, Michael Beasley, Michael Jordan, Mike Bibby, Nick Young, Orlando Magic, Pat Riley, Rashard Lewis, Ray Allen, Raymond Felton, Shaquille O'Neal, Shawn Marion, Stan Van Gundy, Tracy McGrady, Washington Wizards
'Melo swore to me that Denver will definitely go over .500 this season...'
The division that makes up roughly half of the continental United States looks to have some exciting stories this season, with the inaugural season for Oklahoma, the Oden Explosion in Oregon and the traveling comedy that will be Kevin Love’s away games. There’s also last year’s playoff contenders in Denver and Utah, both looking to repeat .500+ records in the tough Western Conference.
Denver Nuggets: After unceremoniously dropping Camby to the Clippers for $4.72 in change and two cans of Tecate, GM Mark Warkentien went ahead and picked up Chris Andersen to fill the huge, inescapable void that Camby’s absence will leave in the Nuggets’ defence. Obviously, Mark Warkentien doesn’t play fantasy basketball, or he’d realise the mistake he made. In fact, it’s a move that suggests Mark Warkentien doesn’t even watch basketball.
This error will be compounded during the All-Star break when the reformed Andersen injures both himself and ‘Melo trying to stop the Chubby Gangster from having a second bump at the wheel of his Escalade, while The Answer sits in the back saying ‘that’s nothing, I did shit ten times worse than that. Do it.’ Cue the police arriving and Denver having to start Linas Kleiza and Sonny Weems for the rest of the season.
Portland Trailblazers: Is anyone not excited about the Blazers this season? Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jerryd Bayless and Greg Oden. The Blazers’ front office have got to be hoping this year or next year is a ring year, because that is a whole lot of massive contracts they’re going to have to offer soon. The highlight of the season will be when Oden throws down a dunk so monstrous he lowers the entire Pacific shelf 9-feet, and half of Los Angeles disappears into the ocean.
Oklahoma City Thunder: The first game is a sell-out as every season ticket-holder shows up. The Ford Center retains this adrenaline-fuelled atmosphere, with Oklahoma creating a few early upset wins. Then Kevin Durant pulls a hammy, and everyone realises they don’t know the names of the rest of the team, save 23 frat boys who turn up to yell ‘hey, Castro Supreme!’ at Chris Wilcox and high-five each other.
David Stern receives a note from the entire population of Seattle saying ‘Dear David, do you see what you’ve done? You shit.’
Utah Jazz: Let’s look at this objectively. They’ve got two gold medallists in Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, supported by Mehmet Okur and former All-Star Andrei Kirilenko, with some exciting upside in Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap. Even Kyle Korver is good for something. And they’re being coached by Jerry Sloan. If they don’t push deep into the playoffs, the entire franchise should be dropped to the D-League.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Now that everyone has worked out that Al Jefferson is All-Star material, and teams have begun collapsing on him, there will be pressure on the rookie Kevin Love to pick up some of the slack. Unfortunately, he won’t, and Minnesota fans will divide their time between bitterly tracking O.J. Mayo’s exciting rookie season, and betting on the spread Vegas is offering on Kevin Love’s foul-to-points ratio.
Posted by: Alex
Read the Atlantic Division preview here.
Categories: On The Court · Sport Count Guide
Tagged: Al Jefferson, Allen Iverson, Andrei Kirilenko, Brandon Roy, Carlos Boozer, Carmelo Anthony, Castro Supreme, Chris Anderson, Chris Wilcox, David Stern, Denver Nuggets, Deron Williams, Greg Oden, Jerry Sloan, Jerryd Bayless, Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, Kyle Korver, LaMarcus Aldridge, Linus Kleiza, Mark Warkentien, Mehmet Okur, Minnesota Timberwolves, O.J. Mayo, Oklahoma City Thunder, Paul Millsap, Portland Trailblazers, Ronnie Brewer, Sonny Weems, Utah Jazz
After fouling out ludicrously early, Minnesota #42 Kevin Love listens to Harry Potter on audio book while his teammates finish playing Denver.
Some might suggest it is too early to arbitrate on whether this year’s crop are busts, but we are not those.
This isn’t even so much a matter of opinion. It is observation. Back in June of this year, The Sport Count was vociferous in its warnings to all NBA General Managers: do not draft Kevin Love, we said. Do not draft white ever, especially with a high pick, because this happens. We were unequivocal about this, and it seems we have been vindicated. It’s not even like we’re happy about it. We’re more just mystified: if three Australians can see these simple truths, why can’t GMs on million-dollar salaries?
Before we get even more upset, let’s have a look at recent developments in 2008 Rookie news.
Minnesota’s boxscore against Denver (19 October) from NBA.com:
It’s a little difficult to make out, but yes, that does say Kevin Love fouled out after 11 minutes. After contributing 5 points, and an earth shattering single rebound. Bad numbers can be the result of a bad game, but in a game where not a single one of your teammates picked up more than 3 fouls, in a full quota of minutes, fouling out is not having a bad game – it’s being a draft bust.
However, full credit to Kevin for actually playing in the NBA Preseason. The same can’t be said for our favourite Eurobust, Danilo Gallinari. After missing all of the Knicks’ preseason games, the New York Post is now reporting that Gallinari will likely be starting in the D-League. This is the 6th overall pick, starting in the D-League. Isiah Thomas’ strong recommendations about an unproven Italian didn’t work out — who’d have guessed?
Posted by: Alex, Anton & James
Categories: Draft Talk · NBA Mysteries · Off The Court · On The Court · Whitey Watch
Tagged: Danilo Gallinari, Isiah Thomas, Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves, New York Knicks
