It was said –- in fact we said it with one of the loudest voices (here, here, here and here) –- but Mike D’Antoni didn’t listen! When NBA fans and scouts alike feverishly typed Danilo Gallinari into Babelfish this past summer, only to see Fettucine Bustaola come up, the Count could smell a rat. And when recent news informed us that the Big Bustamental was going down for the rest of the season, we were neither surprised, shocked, nor sad.
- Que?
On a recent fact-finding trip to NYC (where the Count saw Danilo’s one and only hit-out in an NBA game; 0/2 from the field and 1 foul in a heady 3 minutes, 32 seconds) we managed to pilfer the Italian Stallion’s iPhone, and came across his rehab schedule for that day.
10:00am – Hit the gym for rehab. D’Antoni has implemented the Italian system, meaning I will jump rope for 20 minutes, and smoke four cigarettes each time my back hurts. Working well, but chest is sore.
11:00am – Place call to Mr. Dolan, try and coordinate upfront payment of months’ salary in cash.
12:00pm – Look into the mirror, burst into tears.
14:00pm – Stephon calls me. I don’t pick up. He wants to go and see Quantum of Solace tonight; I bought it in China Town.
15:00pm – Head into Macy’s, I’m surprised that they don’t have a Street Clothes sections, as many websites say this is what I will wear for one year. Spend $2,000 on ties.
17:00pm – Note to self; Maccaroni in USA = different, but also good.
19:00pm – Watch The Godfather, part three. I can’t believe American’s don’t get the Andy Garcia / Sofia Coppola love story.
23:00pm - Switch to BET. I didn’t know that’s what Wilson meant when he was saying skeet the other day.
23:30pm - TiVO is a handy alternative for the time poor consumer.
24:00pm – Note to self: Hookers in America = different, but also good.
Posted by: James
