THE SPORT COUNT

Ryan Anderson, about to miss another fucking shot.

Ryan Anderson is a terrible shooter.

Not technically, of course. If he lacked the magic ability to cock his elbow just right, and float the ball off his fingertips with finesse, he sure wouldn’t be in the National Basketball Assocation. After all, he’s a terrible defender; a pick-and-roll liability, a hustle-free zone, a man who’ll consistently put in work on only one end of the court.

Indeed, Ryan Anderson is capable of easing the ball into the bucket. It’s just that he has absolutely no idea how to go about it. On offense, Anderson seems to be emulating Ron Artest at his absolute worst, constantly jacking up preposterous long-range shots, ill-advised jumpers, and forced threes. On the rare nights he shoots 50% from the field — he’s managed it 13 times in his first 45 games — Anderson still looks abhorrent, consistently out of rhythm with the rest of the offense, contributing nothing but stagnation to the young Nets. Those rare nights of relative shooting success look the same as the more common abominations. The only difference is that occasionally Anderson hits a hot streak.

He’s a white Ricky Davis. A taller version of John Starks, without the talent.

How can you be 6’10″ and still shoot 38.9% for the season? Easy… even when you’re clearly having an off night, just keep jacking them up, even if you’re taking awful shots and hurting your team. That way, you’ll end up with the kind of line Ryan Anderson produces most nights: 1-5 (last night, against Orlando), 1-9 (against the 76ers last week), 3-14 against the Thunder (in early January). In one spectacularly sub-par series, over seven games from December 19th to the 29th, Anderson managed to shoot a grotesque 6-39.

This man has no conscience. There’s a reason he was selected 21st overall, despite scoring more points in college than his conference counterparts OJ Mayo, Kevin Love and Brook Lopez. Anderson represents everything wrong with basketball: a complete lack of engagement with your team, a desperation to fill your own stat sheet, and a stunning inability to contribute anything away from the ball.

And so, I request just one thing of the New Jersey rookie: Ryan Anderson, stop fucking shooting.

Posted By: Anton