THE SPORT COUNT

2012: Tired of the lacklustre effort and injury-prone nature of his players, George Karl quits coaching to create the perfect monster. He works day and night, for weeks, until finally, under a blood-red moon, the creature awakes, slowly. Karl never forgets that evening:

It was already one in the morning; the rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open…already, I could see a craving for rebounds; a curdled and insatiable appetite for blocked shots.

Created using the body parts of Len Bias, Reggie Lewis and Eddie Griffin, the monstrosity is a college sensation, the unthinking abomination unto god fitting perfectly into Mike Krzyzewski’s system at Duke:

The night before the draft, in the wee small hours of the morning, driving on a lonely country road, and distracted by zombie pornography he’s watching on his dashboard DVD player, the beast dies of a cocaine-induced heart attack.

Desperately brought back to life — or at least a perverted simulacrum of it — by Doctor Karl, his monster remains eligible for the draft.

A chilling manifestation of man’s cruel desire to defy death — and the leading rebounding in the NCAA, averaging 14.3 boards in his senior year — Karl’s monster is drafted first overall.

The Bobcats regret the pick for the next ten years.

Illustrations By: Ben

Story By: Anton, James & Alex