THE SPORT COUNT

Last month we stumbled upon Gilbert Arenas’ misguided attempts to self-heal his knees. Now we’ve got the skinny on what the recently suspended Monta “Moped” Ellis is doing to get back to his barnstorming best, in the latest edition of the Rehab Diaries.

8:00am: Hop on my jetski and head across to fisherman’s wharf. Man, that’s a buzz. Grab some chowder and pick up the Chronicle — Anthony Randolph looks like a winner! I’m gonna get him out fly fishing on Captain Jack’s boat.

9:30am: Now i’ve got the wind in my hair, the spray on my face, it’s time to lace up my carabiner –that’s right baby, we’re going abseiling. The doc swears that abseiling will help the ankle; high altitude is one of the ultimate remedies for vague, non-basketball related injuries.

11:00am: Jump in a taxi, yawn, and head across to the training facility. Put my head out the window and feel that Bay Area Air. Coach won’t let me play 3-on-3 at practice. I’ll hop, anything that’s a challenge, I’ll take it.

2:00pm: Nap time. I just need to set up my cyclotron, which keeps my in a constant state of centrifugal compression (and is HEAPZ OF FUN!) and then I’ll have visions of amazing sports, activities and challenges running through my head.

5:00pm: Head down to The Mission for dinner. I love hot, spicy Mexican food. The hotter the better. I end up accepting a bet from Marcus Williams and enter a chili eating contest. I ended up with an incredible record, had a really interesting style, entertaining to watch, and still came 9th to some Spanish guy called Carmelo. Disappointing.

7:30pm: Watch Big Wednesday whilst standing on my surfboard in the apartment. I CAN’T WAIT ’TIL I CAN GET BACK ON THE BOARD.

9:00pm: I’m so tired, time for sleep, looking forward to another day of action and challenges tomorrow.

Posted by: James