THE SPORT COUNT

The Sport Count team aren’t adverse to some opportunistic, muck-raking journalism when the occasion presents itself. We’ve got a hook up, a deep throat if you will, who gets us some of the hottest documents from the most secret locations — notably NBA players’ diaries, from NBA players’ dumpsters.

Anyone ever wondered why Gilbert has struggled so much to recover from injury? Ever wondered if it was bad luck, bad rehab processes or negligent professional counsel? Wonder no longer.

"Playing is fine, but street clothes is where your swagger shows"

10:00am: Wake up, drink some Tang aka Rehab Juice. Tang actually makes your muscles heal faster. It’s a fact, one which I learned from my boy D-Wade, who drank nothing but Tang throughout the ‘07-’08 regular season.

11:00am: Call up my boy Nick Young, tell him the secret to running the point and getting paid as he enters a contract year (deep threes, baby. Contested triples). Counselling young people helps your mind, helping your mind helps your knees. I can’t see how it can’t! Everything is tied to your mind.

12:00pm: Aka the Xbox hour. Someone’s about to get fragged (I’m looking at you AndrewBynumBT). Maybe even telefragged. You never know with this baby. All this rest and mental stimulation is helping my knee like you wouldn’t believe. The Wii might be the best for fitness, but the Xbox has recuperation properties like Phoenix feathers.

4:00pm: Time for burgers and fries. The doc says that this is the perfect food for rehabilitation. I can practically feel the lettuce and mayo infiltrating the abrasions and scar tissue, breaking them down one at a time.

6:00pm: Siesta.

10:00pm: Hit the club. Crutches of course, so the structured movement helps me rehab whilst cranking that Soulja Boy ‘Tell ‘Em’ dance ’til dawn. I mean literally ’til dawn — DeShaun has paid the DJ $50,000 to not play anything else.

3:00am: Stand in front of the mirror for one hour before bed on one leg. I figure this can only help — that’s how much I’m determined to come back. That’s how much I want this, man.

I’d say I’ll be back in a month or so. The amount of things I’m doing to occupy my time… I can feel myself getting better.

Posted by: James